Written by Diane Bauer, M.S.
Diane Bauer Therapy, PLLC

I am a huge proponent of what I refer to as “windshield time”—that time when your child is strapped into a seatbelt and belongs to you and you alone—they cannot escape your presence—you have a captive audience. These are great moments to ask open-ended questions and then just sit back and listen without judgment to what your kids have to say. When they have your attention and believe you are really listening, you provide a safe space where they can open up and give you glimpses into what’s going on in their lives, what they are thinking, and what they are hoping for their future.
When my kids were young, they attended a “choice” school rather than our neighborhood school, which meant there was no bus service and I transported them to and from school every day. Sometimes there were friends and neighbors to organize carpools with, but more often than not, because of crazy schedules and different sports and after school activities, I did most of the transporting myself. I really preferred it that way. Yes, I occasionally dreamed of the ease enjoyed by parents whose kids were in public schools and who rode the bus, but I got a huge benefit in that I had hours and hours of windshield time each and every week. Because I was there at the end of every school day, I was the one they processed their day with. They shared their joys and frustrations, and I benefitted in knowing what was really going on in their world.
If your kids ride the bus to school, you can get the same benefit by planning a solitary road trip—ideally one parent and one child at a time—across the country to visit family or even just to the local Safeway store. Kids grow up in a heartbeat and soon they are driving themselves everywhere, practicing and perfecting that independence we raise them for. Take advantage of all of the windshield time you can get when your kids are young. Be still and let them know you are interested in what they have to say. You may be surprised at who is sitting next to you in the car!